there are just times in my life when i feel like i just need someone to cry on or sometimes i feel like it's not worth the misery carrying on. this is one of those times. everyone around me seems to be frowning at me. at something i do or something i say. i feel as if the people around me are critisizing me constantly even if they do not know me. strangers stare at me and shake their heads like i'm some freak show or animal. this isn't the life i want. why can't i just have a carefree life where everyone is happy and no one is critical about other people and everyone loves themselves and each other the way they are. sadly that's just not possible. people always think i don't deserve to be in 2/1. they don't say it to me, but i know what they say. teachers wonder, how exactly did this girl get into 2/1. i have no answers for them. maybe it was god's will for me to go to ij. maybe he had something for me to do there, maybe a new experience awaits me. maybe i'm supposed to be there for four years and maybe, just maybe, these may be the best four years of my life. but from the way my life is now, i'm not too sure if it will be the best. somehow, even though i tell myself not to let other people's thoughts of me affect me, it still does in some way. i always knew i diddn't fit into 2/1. i was way below the standard of the rest of the class in sec 1 and everyone had sky-high psle scores, while i was just mediocre. if i had gone to sac, maybe i would have led the same life as i did in primary school. doing ok, and mucking about. maybe not. you never know wad might had happened if u did not do things a certain way. i think i am happy with my decision on applying to ij, though i miss some of sac's traditions. i don't want to grow up with a lifetime of regrets. i don't want to grow up saying, i could have or would have or should have. those are words which shows a person's pessimism and fickle mindedness it also shows the amount of confidence a person has in herself when she makes decisions. i cannot say that i really have much confidence in myself when i'm making decisions, but i guess i'm trying. maybe i'll get better at that when i grow up.
Labels: god, reflection
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
auditions were on sunday. i did CRAP.. i really can't care anymore... i'm like pms-ing so bad... i nearly screamed this morning cause i thought i was late... and i was so pissed when i came home too... anyway i went to watch spideyIII last night.. NICE!! i can't believe harry died.. such a sweet death lar.. the best way to die.. for a friend... oh well... in reality, these things are a rarity.. anyway ppl who read this please tag? even if i don't know you or u are too shy(why i thought of this is an amzement even to myself, must come with the pms) just tag.. i won't mind... and if u dunno wad's pms, please tag to ask XD..
Labels: choir, movie, pms
Saturday, May 26, 2007
the performance was today.. i shan't comment... then went out shopping with my mum and aunt. bought a new pair of shoes... i guess this shall be a short post.. i really don't know what to say at this point of time.
Labels: choir, shopping
Friday, May 25, 2007
had promenade rehersals today. I am currently confused. My ma'am says to go for promenade and go for red cross camp when i am not at promenade. My SSM says to go for red cross camp and go for promenade when i have breaks during camp. so where should i go? i'm gonna be a wanderer i guess. anyway i really wanna apologise to anyone who i may have unknowingly pissed off today. don't ask me how i know i pissed ppl off when i dunno i did.. sounds confusing.. anyway how i noee is cause ppl have been ignoring me alot today.. i really don't know why, but yea. oh well, i guess it comes with the hyperactivity. sometimes i really question myself if it is worthit to be happy so much. it doesn't really pay to all the time. you get people who will get pissed off with you just because you are too happy/hyper. shall consider going solemn.. will be hard work, good thing to consider though. anyway i changed my blogskin. hope whoever reads this likes it...
loves fran
Labels: promenade theatre, reflection
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
today was the last day of the workshop.. it was the most fun i've had out of the three days.. but the price was missing captain's ball carnival.. oh well... everything comes with a price huh. i'm still kinda sick.. getting better.. slowly. started eating chocolates again *secretly!!* haha... if my parents find out abt the chocolate rage they will nag my ass off... i'm starting to go high on nth again....LIFE IS GOOD NAHNAHNAHNAHNAHNAH!!! seeeeee.... HAHAHAHAHAHA
Labels: chocolates, crazy, post exam, sick, workshop
Monday, May 21, 2007
went shopping with my mum yesterday and i bought a pair of pants and two shirts.. that's alot for MEEEE.. anyway today i had the asian theatre wkshop and we learnt stuff like basic trad. dances. and now i am SICK.. fever... THE PERSON WHO PASSED THIS TO ME BETTER FEEL GUILTY!!! omg.. i was sick on saturday too and sunday.. but the fever only came TODAY.. i still haven't told my parents abt the fever yet. don't plan to. hope i get well soon!!
Labels: post exam, shopping, sick, workshop
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
went for the GAT test today!! met gracia, steffi and yu fan...XD.. i ended up sitting next to gracia.. so coincidental.. the place was shall i say, swamped with vs people.. like everywhere u turn u see a vs guy.. anyway i got back my geog and eng paper today.. improved at least.. YAY!!! haha
Labels: exams, IP
Monday, May 14, 2007
i had rehersals today... it was OH-SO-TIRING!! i'm like aching.. anyway met my mum after that for dinner... and now i am like resting in front of the com...i'm DYING.. i'll be staying back in school like very other day...i won't be going online much anymore!!! oinnkk...
Labels: promenade theatre
Thursday, May 10, 2007
went out with hill koh!! lols..took loads of pics... but none of those we needed!! OINK!! so sad.. anyway tmr is marking day!! but i still have to go to school.. WAAAAA.... i dun wannnnaaaaa ggggoooooo..... nvm i think it will be fun!! i hope it will be fun. mother's say is this sunday!!! and my cousin is coming back on saturday!! i wonder if i get anything... hahahaha... i think i'm becoming happier by the day. and that is GOOOOOODDDD optimism helps. teeheeheehee.. FOOD IS NICE!! but gluttony is a sin. i heard it on CNA. so ppl must stop eating to stop sinning!!! wakakakaka... ok that's just a joke.. MODERATION my dear ppl. MODERATION... HAHAHAHA.. ok i'm going mad.. i think i'm enjoying life more nowww... coz LIFE IS GREAT!! LALALALALALALALA... haha. if after reading this post, u think u should call IMH, don't bother. i'm alr enrolled in FRANCESCA'S INSTITUE FOR METAL HEALTH!!! HAHAHAHA
Labels: crazy, food, photos, promenade theatre
Wednesday, May 09, 2007
EXAMS ARE OH--VERR!!!! YAYS!!OOIINNNKKKK!!! i am bored. went to j8 with arielle today and bought my mother's day gifties x) heehee. to all those out there who's exam isn't over yet, GOOD LUCK!!! teehee and while you study i shall be enjoying myself slacking.
Labels: shopping
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
went shopping with my mum yesterday and bought a new bag and a new pair of shoes XD.. I LOVE MY NEW BAG!!! wakakakaka... anyway exams are coming up so good luck to anyone reading this!! and i hope i can study and do well!!!
Labels: exams, shopping