Paranoia;

Monday, March 30, 2009

To that good friend from church:

We've been so close for the past few years, especially when we reached secondary school and when you first asked me to help you, i willingly agreed. i saw it as more time for us to spend together, more time to build this friendship but yet now, it seems that we've become too close. When i see a missed call on the phone from you, i call you back, dreading the sec you pick up, hoping, wishing that i'd get your voicemail instead. you've changed so much... or maybe it's just me. you asked us for help and yet you tell us you've settled everything. what's the point? you spend half the time changing your decisions because of what he thinks and you match his every wimp and fancy, nodding to his every suggestion like a dog, begging it's master for food. what happened to the girl i knew? the one who stuck to HER point of view. the one who didn't let a GUY govern her actions. you are attached and yet... i don't know what's happened and i really hope you read this... before tonight.

Labels: reflection

Friday, March 27, 2009

COMMITTEE: THE WORLD AT LARGE

THE QUESTION OF: KILLING FRANCESCA UNDER THE PRETEXT OF PREPARING HER FOR THE 'O' LEVELS

SUBMITTED BY: THE PARENTS OF FRANCESCA

CO-SUBMITTED BY: THE REST OF HER FAMILY

The World at Large,

Keeping in mind the extent of the focus of Academic Excellence in Singapore,

Recognising the need for tuition, on top of the daily school hours to keep on par with the rest of the students across the country,

Understanding the fact that the school might not be able to offer the exact focus needed in specific subjects for Francesca to achieve even basic understand of it,

Realising that, without tuition and structured timetables for all hours of the day, it is impossible for Francesca to do well,

Denying Francesca of her basic human right of free will as, as parents, we have seen more of the world than her and know what's best,

1. Condemning all forms of entertainment, including, but not limited to:

a) Watching the television,

b) Using the computer, unless for academic related matter,

c) Going out, as long as Francesca even gets the slightest bit of enjoyment from it,

d) Eating, as it takes precious time away when it can be put to good use for doing for revision papers,

e) Sleeping, though it cannot be totally excluded, will be limited to the maximum of 5 minutes a day;

2. Implementing measures to torture Francesca under the pretext of helping her improve her academic results including, but not limited to:

a) Giving her at least 8 hours of tuition a week, but more if possible,

b) Issuing her a structured timetable to govern her every move an breath throughout the day, thus ensuring precious time is not in the least bit wasted on things which will not benefit her academically,

c) Scolding her everyday for her apparent idleness and wastage of time;

~and this is my life. i'm sure my parents would LOVE this. :S

Labels: exams

Sunday, March 22, 2009

oh gosh.. i dont even know why i'm still up so late.. have to go to church tomorrow and all... school starts on MONDAY.. omg... AAARRRGGGHHH... that's super fast.. )): and i dont know how to do half of my holiday homework... BAAAAHHHH )))):

Labels: UPDATE

Friday, March 20, 2009

haven't blogged since tuesday! omg! SCMUN has been fun.. no matter what happened... oh well.. really hope we'll get to work with the SJI debate team again.. they were seriously awesome. and IJ MUN-ers, we did wells too. ((:

passion play rehearsal today at 3! GAAAHHHH! oh i had chinese oral today. i think i flunked it. cause my chinese file is literally non-existent and she's gonna minus a hell lot of marks. also my throat is super sore from 3 days of MUN, so i'm really dying... i like totally fell into a deep sleep while waiting for my turn luh... oh well! i plan to take loads and loads and loads of pics for passion play ((: MUST REMEMBER TO BRING MY CAMERA TODAY! ((:

Labels: passionplayrehersal, school

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

omg.. i'm at like scmun now and i am B-O-R-E-D. they kidnapped me for the crisis and now i'm stuck doing nothing... )): sigh... at least this gives me time to blog. haven't had the time to blog in days.. haven't even been able to get enough sleep in DAYS... RAWWWRRRR and it's SUPPOSED TO BE THE HOLIDAYS! :s oh well...

Labels: UPDATE

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

As i sit,

removing one button after another,

one badge and then the next,

tears flow ceaselessly.

I recall the good times,

the bad times.

The times we fought,

the times we had fun together.

The times we persevered on as a team,

the times we endured everything thrown at us.

I see my 4 years as a cadet pass before me and the tears just won't stop.

Are they tears of joy or tears of sadness...

The good memories of the 3 years,

I hold dear to me.

How did things change so much?

This might be the last time I remove these buttons,

prepping it for the wash so that i can wear it, maybe for the last time too.

How I wish I could turn back time

and return to when I first joined.

The time when everything was so simple.

The time when every training was a joy in the midst of hardships,

where we fought through difficulties as one...

Fought together as a unit.

Labels: red cross, reflection

Monday, March 09, 2009

i changed my mind. i feel like blogging, but i just don't know what to blog about. i just need to do something, to occupy myself. i need something that will give me sastisfication... i need to focus.

And I recall the times

We spent

talking,

walking,

comforting.

Labels: UPDATE

i really didn't do well for CAs... i didn't even do well for lit... SHIT. anyway i went to buy my mum's cake today.. it was really good... i guess that was technically the highlight for today... other than getting kicked out of a class i don't even take.. crazy huh? i know. really don't feel like blogging...

Labels: UPDATE

Sunday, March 08, 2009

had passion play rehearsal today, then went to my grandma's house to celebrate her birthday... i wanted to get the cake... but had no time.. oh well... at least it wasn't raining when i left the house. Didn't do well for any of my tests this term.. it's kinda depressing, considering that i studied and all... oh well, maybe i just didn't study enough... or maybe i'm just dumb. i'm like in the middle... can't be considered a bimbo (losing out on the pretty factor) and can't be considered smart (reason given) so it's like NEITHER HERE NOR THERE... )): I know i should totally be sleeping now, but i just feel like ranting a bit.

things in my life have changed. the whole feel of things is different. and though it hurts, i'm letting go of alot of things, clinging on tighter to others and sometimes, i wonder if i'm clinging on to too many things. oh well, after easter, i'm gonna be much free-er than i am now, so that's kinda good.... i really need to do well for MYs... like really super well.. i hope i can get like 10-12 for MYs... though i think it's impossible, cause that'd mean like at least a 2 for every subject... and now i'm barely passing... sigh... this is depressing...

Labels: passionplayrehersal, UPDATE

Friday, March 06, 2009

so many things have happened and i really can't tell anyone anymore. everyone has their own problems and yours is just insignificant. DEAL WITH IT FRAN.

Labels: reflection

Tuesday, March 03, 2009

ok, i'm really super sick now. My fever hasn't gone down i didn't go for training today and my whole body's aching. The panadol isn't working... this is I-R-R-I-T-A-T-I-N-G. and i got caught in the rain today. which makes everything a whole lot worse. I CANNOR SKIP SCHOOLLLLL!! and i'm supposed to be watching Marley and Me with rabbit tomorrow... HOWWW )): I MUST GET WELL IMMEDIATELLYYYYY :S ARGH.

Labels: sick

Monday, March 02, 2009

i don't want to go back down that road again.

i don't want to start hurting again.

i've moved on...

but yet something just holds me there.

maybe it's just the feeling of lost friendship.

somehow, i think i've seen your true colours

and i'm not sure how this can be.

Labels: reflection

ok i'm sick. i feel the flu, sorethroat and fever descending unto me. crapppp... maybe i'll get so sick that i wouldn't have to go to school on wednesday AND I CAN SKIP THAT @&#&^@ PHYSICS TEST. that's sounds great. now just have to think of a way to keep the bug at bay till wednesday... oooohh it RHYMES! ((:

Labels: UPDATE